As I reflect back to the many thoughts and decisions that have been a catalyst to my creating this blog….a few words truly stand out: minion, lackey, wallflower, lame, loser, fatty, mammy, bore…and lots of other great words. But more than these words, what made the decision process even easier…is an unprecedented, life altering event.
After 6-7 years of being a mom, a loyal but emotionally abused employee, a wife – also known as Controller (as indicated by my soon to be ex), and a (dreadful word coming…get ready) nice person, mother nature had definitely taken its toll and too much Caramel Core had added expanding spare tires and my self esteem was bottoming out with each kilo. I was becoming more and more invisible by the minute. No one looked at me, no one thanked me, definitely no one listened to me, not even my kids, and everything was in a state of emergency. I was in a major state of emergency. I was a train wreck and I knew it and probably everyone else did too.
In shocking act of authenticity and candor and good “friendship”, a colleague recently had taken me aside and said to me that the reason I was overlooked for a role compared to a young, sprightly new colleague, is because “well you have to admit, she has “un joli petit queue……” and there it was. The truth. Revealed. Out in thin air. Sexist, crass, insulting….but REAL. I am an ugly doormat, and well apparently my ass did not get these kinds of compliments and deserve to be recognized.
As the shock and horror of hearing this from a colleague (something I had never previously experienced) dissipated, I looked towards the future, and I said to myself, I do solemnly swear that I will get myself one of those….and have myself some fun doing it!
So today I am getting back in the driver’s seat and leaving the world of deadbeat doormats for a whole new world of pretty, small, ass……and while I am at it…I am going to breeze right past my new colleague with an extra few helpings of knowledge, experience and abilities…and will show all of these people that I will be a DOORMAT NO MORE!
In this blog I may share totally random thoughts and snippets of other superfluous data I collect as I drive on the road towards the pretty, small ass …and I plan to rediscover the world of people actually seeing me as something other than the exhausted single mom who is, quite frankly, a total bore.
So if you’ve been where I was since last week and you’re ready to leave on this journey…join me. No one should let this horrible state last. In one lifetime it’s just too much. So grab your wit, your laughter, your treadmill and everything you need and let’s go on a ride to stomp out the deadbeat doormats we’ve been and let’s take back the reigns and show all these people who we really are. Come on…what are you waiting for. Are you with me?